“What in the Sam hill are you talking about Satan?!” I replied.
“I work hard all night long to keep those windows dirty. Do you know what it cost me per hour to send my minions out to dirty up windows?! It costs me $3,645! Then you people just come in behind us and clean it up! Who do you think you people are?!” Satan screamed at me through the phone. If I had recognized the number I would not have picked up the phone. Here I was trying to enjoy this quiet night by myself and instead I was being yelled at by Ol’ Beezelbub. I did not have the time or patience for this little man. However, I was kind of confused so I decided to give him 5 minutes and hear what he had to say.
“I didn’t know that dirtying windows was your kind of thing. I figured you would be busy torturing sinners down there.” I said.
“That’s a different department. I didn’t even know that this was going on until Cathy from Human Resources called me to inform me that we were over budget in the dust bunny department. You people are seriously killing my account here. I can’t afford to keep making all those windows up there dirty! I would really appreciate it if you could spread the word and let people know to please stop cleaning their windows! You’re killing me here!”
“Okay Satan. I believe that people here on Earth enjoy clean windows. It lets the sun shine in, makes rooms look bigger, ups the value of their homes and offices, and just generally makes people feel better. I am not going to hinder that! That’s like taking the joy out of Christmas!” I replied defiantly.
“Listen Merry, I understand where you are coming from but couldn’t you just do me this one solid? I mean come on. The people up there don’t really know what they want! Who needs all that light shinning in their houses blinding them? Who could possibly want all that joy?! I will sell you a new soul if you just make people stop cleaning their windows!” Now he was begging. I was in need of a new soul as I had previously sold mine for a box of chocolates and a campfire mocha from Caribou, but then I realized it wasn’t worth it. The people of earth deserved clean windows! They deserved happiness derived from clean windows and higher property values!
“NO. I cannot do it Satan. I won’t. So you keep dirtying windows and A to Z Window cleaning will continue to clean them and bring joy to the world!” I then hung up my phone. He repeatedly called me but I refused to answer. So, the reason I shared this story with you all is because we can’t let him win. We must keep our windows clean. I find some joy in driving up his expense account and so should you. Don’t let Satan win, have your windows cleaned. I know a great company that does an excellent job too. (Hint: it’s A to Z window cleaning)