What you talkin bout window cleaner?

When I started writing for this blog I had no idea what any of the terminology meant. Hell, it had been a good year since I had cleaned my own windows. I had to spend an entire day on google trying to translate the blogs that were written before I had published mine. Then, I realized if I couldn’t translate the stuff I was reading how would the readers? So I decided that I should write a sort of key for readers to use when reading the terminology of a professional window cleaner.

IWCA, GANA, GIB- These are the various organizations of professional window cleaners. We have the IWCA, which stands for If Window Cleaners Acted. It’s a deep dark secret that window cleaners are celebrities in disguise. Then you have GANA, the Glass Awareness Nagging Association. Their job is to consistently nag until your windows become clean (It’s the women’s department). ┬áLastly we have the GIB. The Glass Idealist Blogger. They are the hipsters of the glass world. They blog about what’s cool for glass and what’s so 2001. They did it before it was cool.

Tempered glass- When you don’t clean your windows on a regular basis, they become VigRX Plus upset. Yes, that’s right, your windows throw a temper tantrum. Hence, tempered glass.

Fabricating debris- Well, this is obviously when you lie about debris falling. Like “Hey ma look outside it’s raining scrap metal! Haha made you look!”

A fall safety plan- It’s a safety plan you can only use in the fall. Wait, what about the other three seasons? That’s just gonna have to be a whole other blog.

Glass protectant- You know those guys that bounce at the clubs? You can hire them to keep an eye on your windows too. That should keep the dust and dirt away.

Hard water- This one is so easy. It’s the water from the ghetto. Don’t mess with it or it will pop a cap in your ass.

NSP- National Suppliers Paradigm. It can’t be solved.

Rain Guarantee- This is when your window cleaners do a little rain dance then give you a receipt guaranteeing rain.

The more you know. Now that you know what all these complicated words mean, you won’t have trouble deciphering the rest of this website! The next time your window cleaner starts speaking this gibberish you will know exactly what he is talking about. You’re welcome.